Star Wars:What It Really Should Have Been Like…
by The Greatest Boba Fett Fan
Summary: Really, just a bunch of craziness. With Darth Vader, Luke, Jango and Boba Fett, and others. Have Fun! RR please?
1. Darth and Luke The emperor dies in a new...

Hi, this is my first story! Noit's not anime but it's funny I hope! ^-^ Ok this takes place nowhere between in the movie but it's still ok. Now then, ON with

A Short Star Wars Side Story

What It Really Should Have Been Like

"Luke, I am your father," Darth Vader said in his raspy, hissy voice. 

"Oh yeah? Where's your proof?!" Luke shot back and jumped away from Vader trying to cut him in half with a light saber. Darth Vader reached behind his back and magically pulled out his wallet, which showed a long list of pictures of him and little Luke. "Here we are at the duck pond where I showed you how to blow up ducks with thermal detonators. And here's us at a baseball game when you were three! You were so cute! It was a Yankee's game. See? There's you with the #1 finger sign after I sliced the Hotdog Vender with my light saber for not giving me my change back." 

As Darth Vader went on showing pictures and talking about all the adventures they had years ago; Luke began to wonder why he didn't remember, and then asked why he didn't remember. Darth Vader gave him a blank stare. Which is mostly impossible because of his mask. In fact no one EVER knows were Darth Vader is looking. So really Vader just stood there. He scratched his head/mask and said "I have no clueI just blamed your mom, she was a wacko!" 

"Oh, okay" Luke said. He sniffled with tears welling up in his eyes, cried "DADDY!" really loudly and grabbed Darth Vader in a killer hug. 

"Luke" Darth Vader said with what was left of the air in his lungs. "You're crushing my spine." 

"Oops sorry" Luke said sympathetically, and letting go reluctantly of his newly found father. "That's okay, but that old geezer over there (Darth Vader's master, Palpatine) wants us to kill each other, and that is a problem. What are going to do?" 

"Hmmm" they both thought. They thought and thought and thought for about an hour. "I know!" Darth Vader said. He sneaked up behind the old guy, pulled out a giant mallet and slammed it on his head. Anime style. "Yay!" Luke and Vader cheered.

Then Darth Vader and Luke skipped happily along together and shared more grand and happy adventures together.

The End

A/N Makes you want to cry doesn't it? Okay, I admit it, it was a stupid, sappy story, but at least I was entertained, isn't that the whole point of making it? I should have added sarcasm. That would have made my story great.

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN "Star Wars" ! Do not sue me, I have money but its mine! I don't want to give it away to some freakin' fanatic!! But I own this story and the mallet so hands off!

HAVE A NICE DAY!!


	2. Jango and Boba and Obiwan The Fight To ...

A Star Wars Side Story:

What It Really Should've Been Like... 

Part 2

Timeline: Eps 2 just after Obi-wan set down on Kamino and saw the clone army.

Obi-wan walked down the corridor to the Fett's room. 

Lama Su looked at him and asked, "Where the heck do you think you're going?" Obi-wan gave him a blank stare, as it was obvious where he was going. 

"I'm going to see this Jango Fett I've heard so much about." He said. Lama Su's huge eyes got even bigger then they already were. "Umm... OK, good luck." Lama Su ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction. 

~Hmm~ Obi-wan thought ~This Jango's reputation as a mean, grumpy guy has even these Kaminoans afraid of him. Cool! I wish I could have a rep. like that. It sucks being a stuck-up goodie goodie Jedi. ~ Obi-wan went on like this for a few more minutes then walked by a bunch of dead people, who seemed to be either charred by flames or shot to death. 

"Must be getting closer", he said to himself. Obi-wan continued on his way down the corridors whistling a happy tune. Later he stepped up to a door with a sign that read, 'Warning! Watch out for Fetts! Knock on this door at your own risk! People will get shot! Have a nice day!' There was also a big smiley face at the end of it. 

Obi-wan stared at the sign for a few seconds then blinked. "Ok... maybe this isn't a such good idea to get information from this bounty hunter, but what the heck." He shrugged to himself, "What's the worse thing that can happen?" Obi-wan took a deep breath and knocked. The next thing he heard was the shuffling and mumbling of someone approaching the door. The door opened and there stood the Great Jango Fett. (Heavenly music plays) 

Obi-wan started looking around, "Where is that blasted music coming from?!" (Music stops) Obi-wan looked back at Jango, who had on only a pair of boxers with hearts on them. He also has a cup of coffee in his hand. It looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. "Whadda ya want?" Jango yawned. "Uh.. Hi! My name is Obi-wan Kenobi and I wanted to ask you if..." 

"What?!" Jango shouted, fully awake now. " Another salesman?!!"

A blaster appeared in his hand out of nowhere and fired multiple shots at Obi-wan. Obi-wan ducked for cover but realized there wasn't any, so he ran screaming like a little girl. A couple minutes later, after Jango realized he was shooting at nothing, and acting like a crazed maniac, he went back inside. 

"Who was it Dad?" asked the young Boba Fett. 

"Just another salesman" Jango answered. "I thought after I shot the last one to pieces they would never come back. See Boba? That's why I became a bounty hunter. To track down scum like them." 

"OK Dad!" Boba chirped happily. Jango sat down with Boba to eat breakfast. Just then Taun-We came in and asked, " So how did the talk with the Jedi go?" Jango looked confused, "Jedi? What Jedi?" "You know, the man in the robes that came by." Taun-We said. "Hmm.. a man in robes... nope, no Jedi, just a salesman." That's when it hit Jango like a ton of bricks. " Uh oh. Boba we're leaving!" The Fett's grabbed their meager belongings and dangerous weapons and ran to their ship, Slave 1. Obi-wan came back looking for revenge. You know what happens next. 

**__**

Now the scene changes to the fight scene in the asteroids. This is where Jango is behind Obi-wan and is firing all he's got. 

"Dad! Hurry up!" 

"Shut up Boba! Can't you see I'm busy?!" 

"But I gotta go!" Boba whined. Jango let out a sigh of frustration. Maybe if he reached over and strangled Boba, he would happier and more successful hunter. ~No~, Jango sighed. He wouldn't do that to his only son, clone, whatever. He kept forgetting. "All right we're almost there just hold it." Jango shot at the Starfighter but hits Jar-Jar's ship instead, causing it to blow into a million, billion pieces. 

*The world cheers* HAHAHA!!! Die Jar-Jar!!! HHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahem, on with the story. 

Jango locked on Obi-wan's ship and fired his missiles. Obi-wan looked at his rear-view mirror and said, "Holy freaking crap. This just isn't my day" 

Obi-wan is blown up with his ship into billions of bits and pieces in the asteroid field. Jango lands on Geonosis. Boba goes to the bathroom. The Jedi or anyone else in the universe has no clue about Dooku's plans or the rising threat of the Empire. Jango and Boba live happy lives being bounty hunters together. Farther and Son. The universe is doomed because of Obi-wan's stupidity. 

The End 

A/N: I know Obi-wan doesn't die, and Jar-Jar wasn't in the Space Chase scene but I wanted to kill him. He should've died in the first one anyway to save time and the film. I forgot to include Anakin. I forgot to kill him too. (Don't get me wrong, I like Darth Vader but Anakin is a fag that deserves to DIE!)

Have A Nice Day!!!! 

Disclaimer: just to make sure somebody doesn't sue me. I have money and stuff but it's mine!! Boba and Jango belong to themselves. Be Free!! Be Free!!! *Boba and Jango look at me strangely then walk away slowly* But I own whatever they use, the Mandalorian armor, the blasters, etc. Now I must run before Mr. Lucas's lawyers hunt me down and sue, Sue, SUE!!! 

So what do you think? Good right? Huh huh? Tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Anakin and Padme starring in The Picnic!

Star Wars Side story part 3

OK this one has Anakin and Padme in it. Heheheh. It takes place on Naboo during the picnic scenething. And after that too, of course.

I don't own Star Wars, is this disclaimer really necessary? 

ENJOY!!! ^-^

Padme sat down on the picnic blanket and began putting out the food she brought for her and Anakin to eat. 

"So Ani, what would you like on your sandwich?" Padme asked as she tried to make a conversation. "Hmmwhat? I didn't destroy Alderaan!! Tarkin did!! He did I tell you!!" Anakin screamed across the area. You could hear a faint echo in the background. Padme blinked at him for a few seconds and then began edging a good distance away from him.

"Well" she started, " that's all good and swell, but what do you want on your sandwich? And who the heck is Tarkin?" Anakin had already zoned out into his happy place and had to slap himself to get out. 

"I would like a turkey sandwich, but with no tomato, they are evil!" he said and avoided the question about Tarkin. Anakin began to twitch and mutter something about an attack, killer tomato sneaking behind him and ripping him apart. Padme scooted away about a foot or two very slowly and began wishing she had picked a different Jedi to eat lunch with. She let out a sigh, then grabbed a turkey sandwich out of the basket. 

"Here is your precious turkey sandwich, _freak." _She whispered the last part quietly so he wouldn't hear.Padme handed Anakin his sandwich and he greedily snatched it and chomps like mad, making mad grunting sound and spilling crumbs everywhere. Padme stopped and looked at him with disgust. Suddenly he stopped. His eyes go wide as he looked down at the turkey sandwich. With his hand trembling, he pulled back the two pieces of bread to reveal a _TOMATO_!!!! 

Anakin screamed like a little girl and threw the tomato slice away and started jumping around like he's on fire or something. Padme tried not to laugh at the hilarity of it all. Once Anakin stopped, he turned his head around, all creepy like. His eyes were blood-shot, and he looked ready to kill. Padme wondered if she should scream or just shoot him with the secret gun she hid under her dress. Before she had time to do anything, Anakin pounced on her and they went rolling down the hill. They rolled and rolled for quite some time to their certain doom, when suddenly; they came to a safe stop at the bottom. As soon as she had gotten over the fact that she could have been killed, Padme realized that Anakin was laughing his head off. Quite loudly too. 

"Hahahahahaha!!! You should have seen the look on your face!" He snickered, "You probably thought I went off the deep end!" 

Padme scowled ~ you _will_ be going in the deep end when I show you my lake ~ she thought. She was already planning to push him over the railing and watch him get eaten by a great big fish with many teeth. She was not a happy camper. Seeing the look on Padme's face made Anakin feel sorry about what he did. "Oh, I'm sorry Padme, I didn't mean to act like a crazy, mad person ready to take over the universe with a crushing fist of pain and torment-oops, said too much" He gave s sheepish grin. Anakin hoped she didn't hear that little slip of his master plan of universal dominance. But Padme was thinking to hard on how to push him off the balcony to notice a thing about what he was talking about. 

"I know how to make it up to you!" Anakin said as he stood up, "I'll take you on a walk throughthat field!" Padme looked to where he was pointing and saw that that field' Anakin was referring to was her backyard. But she decided to go with him anyway. He started acting like an idiot again, which made her feel better. She always liked stupid people, easier to manipulate. As they skipped along happily and began laughing for no apparent reason; they heard a faint rumbling in the distance. They saw dust flying everywhere and began to choke on it. 

"Oh no! I just got done fixing my beautiful hair! It's ruined!" complained Anakin. Padme rolled her eyes. She was about to tell him that his hair always looked like a bunch of crap but she saw a shadow of something a little ways ahead of them.

"What is that?" she asked Anakin. 

"Beats me," he replied, "I don't live here. I don't know why anyone would."

Anakin knew he made a mistake of insulting Padme, and was about to fix it when the fat, sheep, cow-like things appeared!!!! Anakin decided to show off (and escape from Padme) and jumped on the back on one of the sheep, cow-like things. He didn't stay on very long, since he wasn't very good at balancing. He fell flat on his face. Padme let a cry and rushed over hoping he wasn't dead, because she was supposed to kill him! While freaking out and trying to see if she could revive him, she heard his sniggers and she slapped him after she realized he was faking. 

"Don't you do that again!" she yelled. Anakin was still laughing when suddenly; the last sheep cow-like thing ran over Padme. She died. Ironic isn't it?

"Nooooooo!! Padme!!!!!" screamed Anakin. He went insane and killed all the sheep cow-like things, then turned to the Darkside, became known the dark lord of the Sith, and destroyed the universe.

Moral of the story: Make sure that all the sheep cow-like things have left the area before you play around. Look what happened here! 

THE END!!!

A/N. As I wrote this, I began to wonder about the other Jedi. There were no other Jedi protecting Padme on Naboo. Though, leaving her alone with Anakin, eww, that would have creeped me out. Oh well, at least it's better than the Emperor in a thong. Icky picture get out of my head!! That was just gross, I can't believe I thought of that. Forget I even said that, now onward! This story appears to have taken longer to think of though it sucked more than the other ones. *sigh* Don't you other writers just hate that? Oh well if someone reviews I'll be happy! Though don't be expecting another one soon if it took me this long to think of, then I'm going brain dead. Perhaps I need to talk to my best friend for ideas, maybe that will solve my problem or give me more. -__-;;;; *groans*

HAVE A HAPPY DAY!!!


End file.
